8 Excuses Standing in the Way of Your Dreams - Oprah Winfrey
Boy, do we ever have an arsenal of excuses. Many of which,
no surprise here, are some variation of our parents' favorite brands of
excuses. We use them to explain, justify, and/or self-impose a limitation as to
why we can't do something. It's the reason we can't get a promotion. The reason
we can't tell the truth to someone. The reason we no longer let ourselves get
excited before a first date.
You know how you can tell when you're making an excuse? Do
the money test. Ask yourself this: If I gave you one, two, or five million
dollars (whatever number works for you), would you be able to get to work on
time, drive slower, rage less, be nice to your spawn at witching hour, find a
new job, quit sugar, jump your mate happily (and often), etc.?
Duh. Of course, you could.
Would you? Well that's another question. You see, all of a
sudden, given the right incentive (in this case, money), you could change
anything in your life. That begets the next question: How come you and your
dream aren't worth it?
In any and every area where your results don't match what
you say you want, you have to figure out what your favorite brand of excuse is
in that area. Once you start to hear your favorite excuses, you can start to
see them for what they truly are: dream decay.
I've found that there are about eight basic brands of
excuses. See if any sound familiar.
1. The Don't-Care Excuse. You convince yourself that you
don't want or need whatever it was anyway, e.g., the new position, it would
have been too much work anyway...
2. The Passive Excuse. Life is happening to you. It's beyond
your control, e.g., the TV sucks you in, you don't know where the evening
went...
3. The Genetic Excuse. You were born this way and can't
possibly behave any differently, that's just how your family is, e.g., your
father is asocial; your mother is critical.
4. The Victim Excuse. Nothing's your fault, you can't help
it, e.g., you have to entertain your clients, they drink, so you have to as
well; you were late because you were hanging out with friends, etc.
5. The Everyone Else Excuse. It's okay because everyone else
is doing it or not doing it, e.g., none of your other married friends are
having sex anymore either, etc.
6. The Past-Precedent Excuse. You've never been able to do
it before. You've tried so many times, nothing has worked, why would things
change now, e.g., you hate picking up the phone, can't remember birthdays, suck
at managing your time, etc.
7. The How-Things-Are Excuse. What you want is not possible
for you, e.g., you had a screwed-up childhood, you're not getting over it,
you'll never be able to have a good life in that area, etc.
8. The Done-Enough Excuse. No one should ask you for more
than you've already done, as if pushing you further might break you, e.g.,
you've survived twenty-five years of marriage, raised those kids, what else
could anyone possibly want from you, etc.
Everyone has their own favorite brand of excuse. In truth,
excuses are brilliant. After all, they keep us from having to do something we
don't want to do and let us explain why we can't [fill in the blank]. Heck, we
have permanent no-fault insurance and, best of all, it's the excuses' fault,
not ours. Your happiness, self-esteem, and pride, however, pay the premium.
Read more:
https://www.oprah.com/inspiration/8-excuses-standing-in-the-way-of-your-dreams#ixzz79HvmIrbc
Click here to download a FREE copy of You Were Born Abundant
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